The Last of the Menopausal Insomnia Laments

Well ... this is the last one. I tried Debbie's remedy ... no alcohol.

Last night I was up every hour just as always, and I was up for two hours during the 2 o'clock sweat. I am watching closely and I realize I have hourly hot flashes day and night no matter what I do. I go to Wakefield for groceries and am assaulted on the way home. I eat a breakfast of toasted BLTs on homemade bread and have a flash. I discuss an artist's website with Tamarak and my brain explodes and I lose interest. I walk the dog, burst into flame, and begin to fling clothing off in all directions. (Ten minutes later I am shivering and searching for the bits and pieces.)

I have taken to wearing only an old bright pink plushy housecoat at home because it makes it easier to strip off rapidly and then bundle up as soon as the chills start. At night I sleep nude in a cold room with a sheet over me until the flames consume me. I keep my duvet beside me to cuddle up in when the sweat turns icy. On my bedside table is a large glass of cold water which I refill every time I pee. It requires considerable resource management to get through a night.

Today I am making a Nova Scotian (Acadian) cassoulet with pork tenderloin, port wine, white beans, and cranberries. It is a good project for a rainy day, and it doesn't matter if I am wearing something my grandmother wouldn't have been seen dead in (and she used to shuffle around the house in oversized men's house slippers wearing one of the two black and white polka dotted rayon dresses she found in Simpson's bargain basement.)

If anyone drops in to share the cassoulet they will likely be treated to hourly strip shows. Be warned.

Once I have the results of the biopsy and ultrasounds (mid November) I will decide how to handle this. If the uterus show signs of malignancy I imagine they will remove it and all the now unnecessary accroutrements, and then I will, I think, go back on HRT. If it is not malignant I will go back on the HRT.

In the two weeks until I know I will try the local pharmacy's homeopathic for menopause.

No matter what, I won't continue in this state of overheated and stupidity enhancing stasis.

There, that's it. The last of the burning sweating laments.