Help! I am being held hostage by ...

December 27, 2009
Help!  I'm being held hostage by gremlins, and they are tickling me!

Gardens this past decade  have been accosted by such things as Sudden Oak Death, Creeping Charlie and Perennial Pepperweed, all new or increased in strength by global warming.  Last night I seem to have been dealing with a different force also caused by climate change: ice gremlins.

The ice gremlins have sheeted my road making it impossible to crawl out of my hermitage.  They have weighted down the birds' Christmas tree downing it across the back door sill. I could move the tree of course ... after all it is one I cut down and carried home myself, and even covered in ice,  it is portable.  The icy hill leading out of my place is another matter, but I am rather glad that I cannot leave home just now.  I like the peace of being isolated with Kenya.

But last night's invasion was really strange. It was as if they were playing tricks all night long.  The phone would give several blasts then fall silent.  Not real rings.  More like alarm buzzes.  Each time I was wrenched out of deep sleep.   I had no idea what time it was, because after the first time, the radio's clock kept blinking at 12:46. 

These days (and nights) I never  pass up an opportunity to pee, so I went into the bathroom and discovered that there were blinking lights in the laundry room as well.  The dryer had insominia.  I turned it off again and returned to bed.

At 4:56 they were at it again, and this time they had me up for the day.  They had turned my printer on.

I lost the first document I started when the power cut out again, so this will be a very short post ... I think I will turn off the computer, boil a kettle of water, get the wood stove going, grab my flashlight,  clamp on my crampons and head out with Kenya to see what's going on outside.  Even if we don't find the mischievous gremlins,  it should be beautiful.

Later ... not beautiful ... not icy ... just soggy .  And ... my neighbours (the noisy obnoxious ones who drink too much, have filthy mouths and  don't pay anything toward road maintenance)  had been up on the 25th and left on the 26th ... obviously drunk and driving erratically.  The whole road is torn apart and half the area on the sides where they careened from one ditch to another.  I was sorry I'd gone out!