Friday 8 May 2009

Deflated but not depressed or dead ...

A couple of days ago I received upsetting news that completely undid me. I shed a great many tears, and then I emerged feeling that battles had to be fought and tough decisions made, but that everything would come out all right.

During my time away I watched movies, painted and knit. When I tried to be sociable I failed utterly. At first the tears intervened making conversation impossible. Later I felt deflated. Not depressed. That's very different. I just felt flat; emptied out. I still feel that way.

When Opa (my father) died, his entire sofa back was covered in teddy bears ... some he had bought ... others he had made. The bear wearing the long tailed hat and mitts is one of his creations. I started this hat for Mud Mama's Wild Thing but I think it will likely fit either her Sprout or the great grand baby expected in our family. The wool is lovely and soft and cozy. The mohair strand creates fluffiness on the inside to trap warmth close to a little one's head or hands.

I have been thinking a great deal about Opa the past couple of days ... and about the importance of family. Even hermits need those connections. Teddy bears, movies, dogs, and hobbies are not enough.

5 comments:

sassy said...

I shed a great many tears, and then I emerged feeling that battles had to be fought and tough decisions made, but that everything would come out all right.Whatever your news was, sorry for your (undoneness)sadness, and glad that everything will come out alright.

warmest wishes,
sassy

Kerry said...

I think there's a certain clarity that comes with emptying out like that.

Oma said...

Sassy: Thank you for your concern.

Mud Mama: I agree. I think that your mind slows and settles so that you can think without disturbance.

Barbara Carlson said...

You needed a teddy bear hug.

Oma said...

I think I need to hug my kids, especially the one who is sick.