Alarm Bells

My house requires adaptations of lifestyle that take some getting used to. Some also require that you live alone or with people you know very well.

For example, the holding tank has to be pumped when full at a cost of about $400 for a 1500 gallon tank. Each flush puts 1 1/2 gallons in the tank. That means you can flush the toilets 1000 times before you need to have it pumped. It costs about 40 cents a flush.

Because the OOPS truck can't get in here in winter, I had to get a second tank installed. When the first tank is 2/3 full, an alarm goes off, and then you flip a switch so that the contents of the first tank are pumped up to the second tank. That means that I can get 3000 gallons or 2000 flushes pumped for about $700. (That reduces the cost per flush to 35 cents a flush ... but the installation of the second tank cost $7000 so the net gain is really a net loss.

By flushing as little as humanly possible without resorting to using an outdoor privy I have managed to fill the first tank in just under seven months. The first time I filled the 1500 gallon tank in five months so I think this is pretty impressive.

For the past two months I have been waiting for the alarm to sound. It finally did so last night ... at 11:00 p.m. ... just as I was about to fall into bed.

I went downstairs, turned off the noise that was driving Kenya nuts, flipped the switch and waited for half an hour till the pump had done its job.

Then I went to bed with visions of alarm bells, holding tanks, dollar signs, and honey wagons in my head.

Thank heavens I didn't dream of them. Instead the dream fairy brought me these dreams about a birthday party and a return to the classroom.


The Centarian's Birthday ...

snoozing and snoring
snorting and sneezing
smooching and schmoozing
salivating and smacking lips
but mostly snoozing and snoring


Teaching Grade Six ...

"Grade 6 students need positive self images," Kerry pronounced.

I ended up trying to teach them their times tables by giving them teddy bears to help them remember as they drilled themselves and each other. My classroom's every surface, corner and secret hideaway spot was occupied by a teddy bear with a name tag on its foot. The kids went to these places alone or with a friend whenever they had a spare moment. There they memorized by rote, or did additions aloud, on paper, or in sand with the teddy bear as a mute encouraging mentor.


Certainly more pleasant than dreams of septic systems!